its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
