I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
