Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
