You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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