dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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