Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
