its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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