It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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