Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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