im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You pole danced in your parka.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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