Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
