Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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