he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
