when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
