I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize