I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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