I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
