He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
