okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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