shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
