well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
