You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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