they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
