I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i dont even know how to be here
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
