Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
