Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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