Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
