cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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