This dress was meant to end up on your floor
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
