You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
