so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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