3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize