My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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