let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
