Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you're hired as official boob wrangler
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
