So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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