You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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