Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
