Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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