I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
