bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
