When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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