just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
