she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
