Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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