The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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