he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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