I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my liver is dry heaving
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
