im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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