Me too!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
