It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
