i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
