He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
