This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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