I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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