I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
