come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im holly from the hills drunk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
