I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
