She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
