either way he was missing a nipple.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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