So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize