So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found a bag of teeth...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize