Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
